More gangster humor to lighten your day. Remember, even mob guys like to joke around and have fun every once in a while!
Enjoy!
How does every Italian joke start?
By looking over your shoulder
Why do Italians wear Gold chains?
So they know where to stop shaving.
What do you call a Cosa Nostra figure with both his hands in his pockets?
….A Mafioso Mute!
Antonino
Old Antonino was a tight ass with his money and reckoned he was gonna take all his money with him when he died. Anna, his good wife of many years, protested profusely, “Antonino, you cannota taka da money, what about me and the children?”
Antonino replied, “Screw you, you puttana bitch, itsa my money, and I earned it!”
So appropriately,y on the day of Antonino’s funeral, Anna and the kids are crying over papa’s coffin when one of the kids speaks up, “Momma you didn’t give papa the money did you?”
Mama replied, “Si, I gaava da stiffa deada bastardo his a fuckin a mone, itsa ina mama’s personal check, let’s see him casha that!”
What do you call a house butler who’s also in the mafia?
…..A “maid man?”
Hey, do you hear about the New York Mafia Family Don who had very bad memory problems?
…Yeah, he kept making people offers he couldn’t remember!
What do you get when you cross an Italian with a Jew?
Olive Garden
What’s the difference between the Mafia and the Government?
Only one of them is organized!
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three!…. One to screw it in. One to watch. And one to shoot the witness who watched.